In Loving Memory of My Mother

Betty Lou (Atkinson) Gatiglio

1939-2013

 

I have been absent for more than months - too long to recall, and I'm far to stressed to count - but it has been a very long while...

 

In January of this year my mother was hospitalized for a number of reasons - in the words of the 2-3 doctors that were attending to her in the ICU, "It's a mess" - and they literally did not know where to begin...

 

Her lungs, liver, bladder, and heart were all functioning abnormally and/or barely at all. Our expectations were not high, and neither were the doctors. BUT she proved us all wrong and was able to come home in late spring  - and we arranged home care and physical therapy for her...

 

We made it adamantly clear to her (as well as her doctors) that if she made no effort and did not progress with her physical therapy and other dietary changes, that her health would plummet once again. The doctors also informed us that she could plato at a certain point, and to be prepared if that be the case, because obviously there is no progression at the point - just downhill...

 

Early to mid summer she was struggling - more and more everyday. And once again her health plummeted, and she ended up in a facility that made every effort to try to get her to help herself, and also made every effort to make her very comfortable. It was then the doctors told us that our main goal is to be sure we make her happy as much as possible, because her body has reached the point of no return...

 

We surrounded her with photos of her greatest joys, her children and grandchildren - brought her food favorites, puzzles and yarning - little things that she loved to do (she was immobile). These little things seemed so small, but they brought her great joy, especially when we and  her grandkids made visits to see her (although it breaks my heart I could not get my son home from the Army to see her before she passed)...

 

 On one visit with my sister-n-law, my sis-n-law told us that my mother was completely fearful of dying and the unknown. My mother has always had her own ''ideaology' on who God is and what He does/doesn't do, even conflicting/arguing with God's Word. My brother and sis-n-law, as well as myself and my hubby are all born again Christians - and we are not perfect by no means, but we know what the Bible says, believe what the Bible says - and know we are forgiven for our sins and have peace knowing our names are in the Book of Life. Sadly, my mother, who was so stubborn to hear God's Word from her children, did not have that peace. And we feared she wouldn't respond to us once again to share the Good news with her before it was too late...

 

Then my beautiful hubby sat alone with my mom on our Saturday visit with her, shared his love with her, his concern for her fears, and lead her in the sinner's prayer, and she accepted Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior! Rejoice! She was at peace FINALLY, so much so that it was almost as if she knew she was now ready to leave this earth, and so much so that God was waiting on her all along - that she died peacefully in her sleep 3 days later...

 

We are deeply saddened, my mother's life was not an easy one - my father is not the easiest man to live with. I feel heart ache knowing that my mother never really got to be the woman she really wanted to be. But she is the woman who she wants to be now, and walks on streets of gold! And I celebrate that...

 

Now listen up all those reading this - because my mother's poor health that lead to her suffering and death was all avoidable. My mother should be the poster child for what happens to a body when it eats nothing but junk foods, salty and greasy foods, smokes half of your life, absolutely no physical activity whatsoever. She beat breast cancer twice, so she was definitely a fighter, BUT she would not change her terribly eating habits and made every excuse not to exercise. She couldn't even walk to one end of her house to the other. She gave up on herself because she felt it was to hard to change. I ENCOURAGE YOU, FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR LOVED ONES - MAKE THOSE CHANGES TODAY. You don't have to go vegan, you don't have to cut indulgences out completely, and you don't have to do a marathon - but take care of yourself, don't make excuses, and do so today. Yes, it may be hard - but if you change your routine and lifestyle, soon those changes will become second nature and you'll see the benefits quickly and reap them...

 

My mother had expressed this to me in tears lying in her hospital bed immobile, that she wished she could have made better choices. Don't wait to when it's to late to realize that changes made now can made a difference for your future...